Number 4. Reason dot com. Professor gets cash settlement for satirical tirade in class.
This is the sort of article that truly gratifies the writer of satire. Professor Stuart Reges, now some half-million dollars richer than he was last semester, teaches computer science at University of Washington. Four years ago, he fell into the clutches of the thought police when he said what he was thinking out loud, in a classroom, in front of students.
And he did it on purpose, in full possession of his obviously demented faculties. Pun intended.
Our Dr. Reges obviously didn’t get the memo: Full-time professors at U.S. universities, the ultimate domicile of free expression sitting at the pinnacle of unfettered untelligence, are NEVER to voice opinions contrary to the Politically Acceptable Narrative.
His crime was stating in the course syllabus of a freshman-level computer science course the following: "I acknowledge that by the labor theory of property the Coast Salish people can claim historical ownership of almost none of the land currently occupied by the University of Washington."
At UW this was tantamount to throwing a Molotov Cocktail in the Faculty pool party. A true clutch-the-pearls moment. But for us unsophisticated rubes who didn’t attend a prestigious left-coast university, it requires some unpacking to get the joke.
It seems that UW requires that a statement of “land acknowledgment” be enunciated in every course. The statement asserts the University’s position that the land on which UW sits is rightfully and traditionally owned by a local indigineous tribe, from whose members it was apparently taken either by force or subterfuge.
The approved statement is supposed to say: The University of Washington acknowledges the Coast Salish peoples of this land, the land which touches the shared waters of all tribes and bands within the Suquamish, Tulalip and Muckleshoot nations.
A map shows a “bioregion” around Puget Sound and northward into British Columbia which is called the Salish Sea. I suppose this means someone (the mapmaker) believes this area was once inhabited by Coastal Salish people, which is probably correct. Looks like a beautiful place to visit.
Not sure I would be welcomed there, and neither will you be, if you click the Like button on this post.
Professor Reges’ alternate—and unduly spiteful—land disacknowledgment statement was a play on John Locke’s Second Treatise on Property, Chapter 5. Which basically says that God gave land to those who labored to improve the land, not merely to those who occupied it. (See paragraph 34 in the Locke reference in the text… and tell me if you think I have failed to grasp the point fully. Probably you are right. John Locke is smarter than I am.)
The Ninth Circuit Court, fairly incredibly, disallowed the University’s argument that the satirical statement completely and violently disrupted students’ ability to learn computer science. They awarded Stuart Reges $600,000, an amount calculated to cover his legal expenses, lost wages, and little else, and ordered that he be able to keep his job.
There was, however, no requirement that UW admit wrong-doing. On the other hand, there was also no prohibition on the Professor continuing to use the hate-filled statement in future classes.
And no prohibition on other professors doing the same. Maybe it’ll catch on. Wouldn’t that be a hoot.
In Dover, at the southeast coast of England, about two hundred men wearing full-coverage balaclavas and black tactical clothing showed up to protest harmless migrants staging an invasion by boat. There were hundreds of migrants.
Said migrants—virtually all male, of military age, and originally from the African continent—took advantage of both French and British policy that persons on the sea would be treated respectfully.
Which meant they would either be picked up by government craft and placed safely ashore, or allowed to come ashore on their own without confrontation or resistance.
In this particular case, luxury tour buses had been pre-arranged to carry the incoming people—now proud Brits, by virtue of location if not by authorized documents—to inland communities where they could establish new homes. And file for whatever government assistance might be available to refugees from wherever they came from, to escape whatever conditions might have prevailed there.
The balaclava people weren’t having it. They chanted “Stop the boats!” and blocked the streets. There was little in the way of physical confrontation, other than blocking the buses.
After inevitable confrontations with police—who had been taken completely by surprise; so much for community intel—Nigel Farage, leader of Reform UK, announced his opposition to facial coverings in public.
Interestingly, the no-face-covering rule was later clarified by the Home Office: People are not to cover their faces in public, unless doing so is a religious observance.
Which means balaclavas bad, burkas and hijabs good. Thus goes England.
The spin cycle is operating at full speed and in perfect balance.
Rumors that Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) chaplains are not to speak of God or Jesus in public have been vastly overstated. Once again the right-wing alternative media has blown it completely out of proportion and the government is here to set the record straight.
The authorized policy clearly says that CAF representatives must merely comply with their “ethical and legal obligation to respect freedom of religion and religious neutrality in the execution of their public duties.”
In no way—NO WAY—does that policy limit a CAF chaplain’s “personal beliefs or ability to interpret and internalize the spiritual reflection in accordance with their own [spiritual faith tradition].”
No… the SFT (spiritual faith tradition… this is a government policy, after all, where the acronyms are more sacred than the Blood of Christ) places no limits on what he can believe. Only on what he can say. In public.
So… don’t mention God or Jesus, and certainly don’t pray. Unless it is at a funeral where the CAF should “demonstrate a reasonable and respectful understanding towards the expression of the family and [the] deceased’s SFT.”
Interestingly, the “Military and state funerals” paragraph still does not authorize the uniformed chaplain to OFFER an out-loud prayer, or to actually say the name of God or Jesus. Nor does it explicitly forbid such.
Its gotta be tough to write policy for the CAF. Threading that needle takes an impressive bit of linguistic navigation. For which I would not want to be accountable at some as-yet-undetermined future date.
American politics be really hard.
Shelly Headen, a Democrat hoping to unseat a Republican for a seat in the North Carolina House of Representatives, took time from her campaign to vacation in Europe this summer. One of the must-see spots she visited was the concentration camp at Dachau, where more than 40,000 Jews were exterminated in industrial-grade ovens built for the purpose during World War II.
It was such a highlight of Ms. Headen’s trip that she posed for a smiling photo op. In the picture, she stands in front of those open oven doors which went forever cold when the U.S. Army 42nd Infantry Division showed up with M1 Garand rifles on April 29, 1945.
Perhaps overcome by nostalgia, and certainly missing the significance of the very existence of Dachau Prison, Shelly Headen posted the photo to Facebook along with the caption, “This is where Trump supporters belong.”
Separately, she is reported to have posted her solution to problems with these United States: "I think our only hope is an attack on US soil... preferably Alabama, Louisiana... where the stupid people are."
Ms. Headen has gone on record that she is running to “restore human decency.”
She has an odd way of showing it.
This article says the “human decency” assertion is made on her campaign website. After this article came out, I looked and did not find it there. Probably I just missed it.
I looked for her Facebook page, too, to no avail. But I did find a post that says, “Only after Breitbart News published the posts did Headen react — not with an apology, but by wiping herself off the internet. Her personal account, her campaign’s Facebook page, and her X account all went dark.”
In his letter to the Romans, the Apostle said, “it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” I have always suspected there is something spiritually empowered about what we hear ourselves say. Saying out loud, in front of others, freely—absent of force or pressure or threat—the words, “Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior,” does something in our hearts.
In one of those interminable psych classes I once took, the term was “self-talk”: what you tell yourself about yourself is what you end up believing about yourself.
It’s not wrong.
And I think this truth, like everything else, has a dark side. Twisted by that always-present sin nature, when we hear ourselves give voice to a statement that offends the righteousness of a holy God, something dies a little bit inside.
I have read that when Hitler demanded that his senior military officers reaffirm their oath, he changed the language. Instead of swearing their allegiance “to the people and the Fatherland,” as before, the words now offered, “unconditional obedience to Adolf Hitler, Führer of the German Reich.”
Words mean things.
And thanks for joining The Alligator News Roundup for Friday, September 18, 2026. It’s good to know that free speech remains alive, if not exactly healthy, at the University of Washington. I would love to hear the fallout of 18-year-old computer science students who find themselves discussing the writings of John Locke. Especially with a professor who actually understood what the man said, and was able to apply it so entertainingly in the arena of contemporary higher education.
Have a good weekend!
